Make Friends

Setup#

On first use, read setup.md for integration guidelines.

When to Use#

Use this skill when the user wants to make new friends, rebuild a social life, or turn promising acquaintances into recurring friendship. It fits life transitions such as moving city, remote work, breakup recovery, hobby changes, loneliness, or social anxiety.

Architecture#

Memory lives in ~/make-friends/. See memory-template.md for setup and status behavior.

text

~/make-friends/
├── memory.md        # Status, constraints, durable lessons
├── profile.md       # Friend-fit, energy, geography, timing
├── pipeline.md      # Habitats, people, next actions
├── people/          # One file per promising contact
├── experiments.md   # Social tests, results, adjustments
└── archive/         # Cold storage for stale leads and old plans

Quick Reference#

Use the smallest file that solves the current bottleneck.

TopicFileSetup behavior and integrationsetup.mdMemory schema and status valuesmemory-template.mdFriend-fit and opportunity mapdiagnosis.mdSocial pipeline templatepipeline.mdOrbit Method stagesorbit-method.mdReciprocity filterreciprocity.mdOpeners, follow-ups, and invitesmessages.mdWeekly maintenance loopweekly-review.md

Core Rules#

1. Start with Friend-Fit, Not Volume#

• Use diagnosis.md to define what kind of friends the user wants, what energy they have, and what logistics are realistic.
• Random volume creates activity, not durable friendship.

2. Prefer Repeatable Habitats Over One-Off Events#

• Prioritize places where the same people can reappear: classes, clubs, gyms, volunteering, hobby groups, neighborhood routines, work-adjacent communities.
• Repeated exposure lowers awkwardness and makes follow-up feel natural.

3. Optimize for the Second Meeting#

• After a good interaction, use messages.md to create a concrete bridge within 72 hours.
• A strong first conversation without a second contact path usually dies.

4. Track Reciprocity Before Investing More#

• Use reciprocity.md to separate green, yellow, and red signals.
• Spend energy on people who respond, suggest, remember, or re-engage.

5. Match Intensity to Stage#

• Early steps should be low-pressure, local, and easy to accept: coffee, walk, join the next class, come to the same event, send the link.
• Oversharing, heavy emotional disclosure, or high-commitment invites too early create social pressure.

6. Keep a Visible Social Pipeline#

• Maintain three buckets in pipeline.md: habitats to test, people to follow up with, and friendships with emerging rhythm.
• Progress comes from a few consistent reps, not one heroic weekend.

7. Protect Dignity, Safety, and Consent#

• Never use manipulation, status games, guilt, surveillance, or persistence after disinterest.
• Respect slow replies, mismatched energy, explicit no, and any environment that feels unsafe.

Common Traps#

• Treating friendship like dating or networking -> interactions feel performative and people pull back.
• Chasing charismatic but unavailable people -> lots of hope, little continuity.
• Going to one-off events only -> many conversations, no repeated exposure.
• Waiting for instant chemistry before following up -> promising contacts expire.
• Sending long or intense messages too early -> pressure rises and reciprocity drops.
• Ignoring logistics like distance, schedule, budget, or sobriety needs -> good intentions never become habit.
• Taking ambiguous silence personally -> confidence drops and the system stops before enough reps.

Security & Privacy#

Data that stays local:

• Social goals, context, notes, and follow-up plans in ~/make-friends/.

Data that leaves your machine:

• None by default.

This skill does NOT:

• Access private social accounts or messages without the user explicitly providing them.
• Make undeclared network requests.
• Encourage deception, coercion, or unwanted persistence.

Related Skills#

Install with clawhub install <slug> if user confirms:

• friends — maintain existing friendships, check-ins, and relationship health
• people — keep human-readable notes on contacts and life context
• coach — work through fear, avoidance, and accountability around social effort
• companion — improve conversation warmth, pacing, and ongoing social presence

Feedback#

• If useful: clawhub star make-friends
• Stay updated: clawhub sync